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I’ve spent more and more time here for the past 6 months, since we’ve got engaged, so I’ve used his computer a lot more as well.
I was messing around one day and found a ton of pornography on it.
The high reward and low cost nature of online cheating makes it difficult to stop.
But from your perspective, it is REAL; it feels like cheating and it hurts just the same (see online cheating). First, attempts to control a partner’s behavior, often fail.
So, our best advice is probably the most difficult.
I told him I felt bad that he was looking at these women-but I felt even worse because I was the one who looked it up in his documents on his computer-I felt I invaded his privacy-I didn’t want to be one of those crazy girlfriends/fiancés.
He felt bad and said he’d delete everything, I told him no, I know guys do that kind of stuff, and I didn’t want him to because I invaded his privacy.
Initially we had web cams, I got rid of mine, he still had his and just put it away a couple months ago (5).
I had always wondered why he kept it set up right next to his computer when we didn’t use it anymore with each other.