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And I wanted to explore whether this kind of love happens because of luck, karma, or accident, or if there are interior changes one can make or steps one can take to connect with a partner at any age.What surprised me was that the women’s stories were remarkably similar. They all relished their independence and had come to terms with the fact that they might never find another mate.But she warns against thinking that finding a partner is going to fix everything, “You really have to find that yourself,” she said, adding that both she and her podcast co-host Angela Spera struggled to find love “until we had something personally exciting that we were doing.I think it was an energetic thing where we attracted people into our lives.” They’re both in solid relationships now.

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Just ask actress Ellen Burstyn and a host of other women who found themselves in the heat of romance when they least expected it. “I think he’s 80.” They’re still devoted to each other as my mother moves into her 90s, which fills me with awe. I’ve been unattached for seven years and have become very good at it.At the same time, they’d done inner work that enabled them to feel worthy of love, ready to accept a man as he is and be accepted unconditionally by him. “In 25 years, weren’t you attracted to a man, or pursued by one? She worked constantly around the world, won an Oscar® for Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, and was nominated for five other films.Most see their relationship as a spiritual practice, an opportunity to work on hurtful patterns and expand their capacity to forgive. Each woman feels her current partner is her beshert—Yiddish for “destined mate”—and that all her experiences, past relationships, and heartbreak were necessary to prepare her for this union. She enjoyed being with her son, Jefferson, her friends, and her animals. “I’d gone from man to man since puberty and had three marriages that were all painful and ended in divorce.” She knew she had to heal the wounds that kept her repeating the same pattern with men, “so that aspect of myself closed up shop.Laura Lane, co-host of the podcast “This Is Why You’re Single” and co-author of a book by the same name, said that factors like employment often figure heavily in romance.Not having a job can affect a person’s confidence and, in turn, torpedo their efforts to find a steady partner.

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