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I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you.This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.

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